Tuesday, March 24, 2015

A Personal Journey: Here Goes... Everything

Raise your hand if you have a "Motivation" or "Inspiration" board on Pinterest. You can't see me, but my hand is super raised right now. I believe I actually have two: this one and this one. I think we can all agree that it's easy to pin these things and say they inspire you... but have you ever put your money where your pin is? 

Well, with regard to this pin... I actually am. 

Eric and I talked in detail about what life for the fam would be like if I took time to - really - go after what I want to do with my life, and his support, encouragement and faith in me was crazy touching. I was the one who was scared, shaky and anxious... but insanely excited.  

A month+ ago, when I was still worried and on the fence for many reasons, he sent me this...

... And I couldn't have felt more loved or inspired. With his support, I am *pumped* to say that I am really going for it. I will work with my wonderful agent in Nashville, AND have just signed with a stellar agency in Los Angeles (with the help of an incredible friend)! 

Here goes... everything.

So let me ask you this question by *anonymous*... What would you do if you knew you could not fail? DO IT!


Closing Notes: It's also helpful that this will provide me more time to be there for Cooper when he's ill, which as I've mentioned, is about every 4-6 weeks. It was getting tough to manage work life + family life with allllll of that. 

I'm going to be able to focus on all the things I want to be better at in life, and be the best me: wife, mom, artist, daughter, sister, friend, employee... etc. I'm really, very excited about what's ahead!  

Saturday, January 17, 2015

A Personal Journey: Important Announcement

Coming soon to a computer near you... an announcement. Likely in a month.

(And no, this is not a pregnancy announcement. Cooper Nash is our only babe for the time being. And, trust us, he's plenty. He's a lot of work... but it sure is one of the best. jobs. ever. He's amazing, brilliant, so full of excitement, and so much more! We are so blessed.)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Please Vote for #CooperNash

Would you please do me and my sweet boy a favor? Please vote for #CooperNash in the Gerber Photo Search! He and his baby blues need to be discovered, don't you agree?

Entry ID: 309662
Milestone: Toddler 2+

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Merci. Danke. Gracias. Arigato. Tesekk├╝r ederim. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

I Guess I Forgot I Have A Blog

As Cooper says, "Oopie doopie." I don't think I forgot I have a blog, I think I just...well, sh*t. I just didn't write. Life is nuts. Time kinda just, disappears.

I don't know where to begin, really. After all, it's been 247 days since my last entry. How do you feel about bullet points? I feel great about them. (Especially since Cooper is due up from his nap aaaany minute now.)

  • I am still acting. My agent is great, and I've landed a few minor gigs... but am praying for something bigger. Something that could be a game changer... Or at least something that will give me a little more momentum. This industry is tough, but I love it. 
  • Speaking of work, I still work at (and really enjoy) South Central Digital. Check us out: http://www.scdagency.com.  
  • Cooper is TWO now. Yes, two. I can't believe it. Well, I can really, because he has ca-razy mood swings (yes, like his mother). He's brilliant, can count to twelve, can spell his name, loves to build things (legos, trains, etc.), loves cars (pretending to drive real cars, and also toys), loves the water, and is crazy for his DaDoo. Yes, he still loves golf, and his current favorite movies and TV shows are: Monsters U, Frozen, Planes, Doc, Jake, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. 
  • Eric is still working (and doing amazing) at Raven. He golfs as often as he can, and loves being with Cooper (and me). 
  • Eric and I went on a vacation to Montego Bay while my folks watched Coop. It was heaven. We stayed at Secret's St. James, met some lovely people, relaxed with each other, drank and ate to our heart's content... and we even upgraded ourselves to first class on our flights. It's now officially the only way I will travel. Got that, Eric? ;)
  • I finally got curtains for our living room. Okay, I know that doesn't sound thrilling, but I swear you guys, I am super excited. Our house feels like a home now.
  • We are going home ("home" is California) for the holidays, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I *might* have already started my Christmas shopping. 
I am sure there are about a million things that I missed, and it's probably stuff that's more interesting than what I've randomly selected to mention above, but... for now... that is all. I will return, and it won't take me as long. As Cooper says, "See soon." 

My brother got hitched, y'all. Great, great day. The hubs sure scrubs up nicely, eh?

Fight on, Little Coop!

I sure love my handsome date.

At the 2nd Happiest Place On Earth... Golfsmith.

He's TWO! Man, we have great friends and family. Thank you all.

Coop and DaDoo. At Golfsmith. Again. ;) 
A recent commercial.

Coop was featured, too! Gotta love my baby star.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

A Personal Journey: Lights, Camera, Take Action

As many of you know, in 2013 I made the decision to follow and try again to reach my forever-dream of being an actress. I decided to take action instead of just wishing it could happen, and and hopeful for what lies ahead. (And yes, I am still singing, too.)

I got reinstated in SAG / AFTRA. I'm officially a profesh actor, kids.
I got myself a highly recommended agent. She accepted Cooper Nash as talent as well - he's just too cute to not share with the world. I think she's awesome, and have big plans for us this year!
I booked the first audition I attended: Cooper and I will be very minorly featured in an upcoming Bubba Sparxx / Rodney Atkins music video called "Right." Not bad for my first audition back in the scene.
I have been to 2 additional auditions thus far, which I did not get. I was bummed but it's all part of it.
I had some pictures taken by a seriously awesome photographer (and make-up by a very talented chick) for an updated headshot and misc. photos (and will be doing a re-shoot because I am far too hard on myself, but can't wait to take and see them).

So while I don't have New Year Resolutions, per se, I do have goals.

In 2014 I will... 

  1. Stop being so hard on myself. I am who I am, and I need to take pride in that.
  2. On that note: Work out, eat right, make healthy decisions, take care of myself, etc. 
  3. Book a regional and national gig. ::Fingers crossed::
  4. Be an excellent wife and mother. 
  5. See family as often as possible.
  6. Save up:  For our future, for emergencies, and for some fun (vacations, and other things that are 'spensive).  
Then, from there, sky's the limit...Right? 

What are your goals, and how are you taking action? 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A Personal Journey: Be - YOU - Tiful

Write. Erase. Re-write. Erase. Write.

The first sentence is always the most difficult. Here we go...

What is "perfect" or "beautiful," anyway? 

This is a post I've wanted to write for years, but haven't. Why?
  • Shame? No, I don't think so. Well, maybe there's a little of that...
  • Making sure I'm responsible with my words while hopefully eloquently and thoughtfully getting my point across...sure, that's more of a focus... 
  • But honestly, hopefully this will be an experience that will release me from being trapped inside my issues...maybe one day I will learn to like, even love, myself?
Here's the truth: I consider myself fat and ugly, full of flaws. 

Please excuse me for cutting to the chase and being so blunt... but now that that's out there, I shall begin my post.

I was listening to The Bert Show on the radio a few weeks ago, and the main host was talking about how his 6 year old son was commended for telling the teacher when a fellow girl student was "shamed for being fat." My heart broke. 6 years old. On the one hand, you want your children to be healthy. On the other, you don't want them living with body image issues for the rest of their lives so it's very important to be mindful. Fellow listeners called in saying that children in grades as low as kindergarten - KINDERGARTEN - were experiencing the same thing. Another caller said that when she was young, she too was shamed. To this day, she remembers and relives the pain. I feel you, sister. Some things stick with you, and for some reason the bad stuff usually the overshadows the good...I don't know why that is
Middle School can be an interesting, challenging, and yet... really fun time. Most of this part of my life was great, I'm sure, but one of the most prominent memories I have is about a guy who was my "boyfriend" who told me I needed liposuction. As if having braces and going through puberty wasn't enough, I got to add in the fact that I was apparently fat. Wonderful. 
Then came High School. Truly, I had a great time in High School, but was pretty seriously emotionally damaged, and am still dealing with it today. When I "fell in love" with my high school sweetheart, I tried (and failed) to be perfect because that is what he expected. I wanted more than anything to be what he wanted me to be - to make sure he would love me, be happy, and of course proud to be my boyfriend. When dieting and exercise weren't enough, I suffered through multiple eating disorders that no one knew about. Unaware that I went to extremely unhealthy lengths to try and be perfect, he decided it would be a good idea to make a list all of my physical flaws, which I saw regularly. (Guys, here's a tip: Not.A.Good.Idea.) Further more, he would openly share these line items with me. What's  even worse...? I listened. I listened for 5 years.

Some (not all) of these line items included...
  • I was a 10, but I'd be an 11 if I got breast implants. (I almost got them.)
  • I should go to a tanning bed because it made me look thinner. Tan fat is apparently more attractive than pale fat. (I did this.)
  • Working out once a day wasn't cutting it, so I should try twice a day. Weight fluctuation was not acceptable. (I did this.)
  • Acrylic nails made me look more polished and put together. (I had them, even though I could barely afford food. Priorities, people.) 
  • I should bleach my teeth because - my smile was one of my best features. (I did this.) 
...the list continued on...and on...

To this day, I still see this list in my head. 

He wanted a trophy and while I tried, I never felt like I was good enough. For numerous reasons, including but not limited to his high expectations of me and the pressure I put on myself, we didn't last. He did marry, and his wife seems lovely. They have 2 kids, one of which is a girl. I hope he's more careful with her.
In college, I majored in acting and minored in dance - and the number of thin, gorgeous, brilliant women around me was mind-blowing. Post-college, I was an actor and a singer waitress, and my insecurities continued to grow and grow. I believe I lived on Diet Coke alone for a few years... but I was still never enough. 
Life continued on.  I dated, I sang, I acted, I worked, I moved many times, I got engaged and broke up with a man who was anything but right for me (overall good guy though), then proceeded to meet, fall in love with and marry the man I'd always prayed for, had a son who God graciously gifted to me, and more. So much more. While I have been blessed with a crazy amount of good times... I have recently had a revelation:  I have never really fully believed in myself. 

Here I am. Continuing to live with my fear of not being pretty, thin, or even smart enough, even though my husband (the most wonderful, supportive man on planet Earth) tells me every day that I am. Bless him.

The difference between THEN and NOW is...I WANT to change.

So the question is... How do you overcome a lifetime of insecurity? Furthermore, and maybe more importantly,  how does society stop putting all of this crazy pressure on girls and women to be perfect? Because the truth is...perfection isn't perfect at all. The truth is...we are all made differently, and that is crazy beautiful.

Maybe the key is to find something uniquely beautiful in someone and focus your attention on that, instead of actively looking for a flaw. In turn, flaws won't exist because all you'll see is BEAUTY.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Apologies - Let's Catch Up, Shall We?

Baaad blogger...(she says shaking a finger at herself.)

Life has been...busy. I'll recap quickly, because honestly, that's all I got in me...and then I'll move on to the present. 

Cooper had a fun official 1st birthday in Nashville. We had dinner at Toyama with our friends Ryan and Kaeli. He had a cupcake and wore a hat. Good times had by all. 

My parents visited for a while. We had a ball (zoo, music, shows, shopping, golf, relaxing, etc). They're such rock stars, and love the crap out of our kid.

Eric's parents followed. Ditto to everything I said about my parents.

Halloween was a blast. Cooper was Mickey Mouse, and man...he's...too cute for his own stinking good. We went to Ghouls at Grassmere (the zoo) on the 27th to trick or treat...and then it rained on Halloween. Coop handed out candy with Dedo the following day. 

Eric and I work too much. (Nothing new there.) That said...He's going to stop accepting side projects, and I will be on a "regular" schedule soon, so hopefully we can be laptop free(ish) at night soon. Once Coop goes to bed, it would be nice to have a conversation, and you know...spend time together. I like him, so yeah...could be nice. ;) Okay, for reals. I can't wait.

I started my new job on Monday. Well, not new. It's the job I've been doing for like 6 months, but now I'm an official employee in the office, not a contractor from home.

Coop started daycare at The Goddard School (yay!) as well. It's been a rough transition for him (AND ME!!!) so far...but I know it'll get easier. I already feel like he's learning so much. He's amazing. 

Cooper and I signed with a Nashville talent agency. Hope to have more to report there soon. 
We shall see... I was an extra in a commercial and have an audition on Friday so far. Gotta keep this motivation up!!! 

Last but not least...I had a birthday. 30. (Shit.) Eric was amazing and planned the most special day (thank you to his parents for watching Coops): Birthday confetti pancakes for breakfast, followed by a facial, then by a Starbucks latte, then by champagne, then a pedicure (with him!), followed by drinks at my fav local bar, then got ready for dinner and played with our kiddo, then...as we walked to his car to go to dinner...A SURPRISE PARTY with over 15 of my friends. (I've never had a surprise party.) (I cried.) It was amazing. Dinner with all, followed by drinks at my fav local bar and then more here (where I met a bunch of actors from the show Nashville).  Good times. Good times, indeed. 

So yeah. That's life in a nutshell. 

I'm tired...are you?

Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Best Vacation, Part 2. (Photos Gallore!)

Aloha Maui, Hello San Diego.

We (& alllllllll of our luggage) drove back to my folks house, VERY late at night. (Psst, Mom...thank you for driving!)

The next morning, way too early (is this a theme?) we went to the JOJ Memorial Golf Tournament (click link to learn more). Family and friends filled the course, and we had a blast...until hole 17, that is. Normally golf courses don't allow children on the course, but because we had about 30-40 people there, they let it slide. I was sitting in the cart with Coop by my side, and then I turned my head to the right and saw a golf ball headed straight towards, well, my head. I turned my head, and BAM! I was nailed less than a 1/2 inch from my temple. I cried, had someone grab Coop (who was balling), and friends made me stay on the ground. My face swelled up pretty good, I had to sign a report at the course, and was then taken to an Urgent Care. They wanted to do a CT Scan, but I didn't want to (shhh...I didn't have insurance yet). So, after an exam, the doctor told Eric, "Wake her up every 2 hours. Ask her questions, check her pupils, have her move her extremities. Otherwise, if you wake up in 8 hours after a nights sleep...you could roll over and she could be dead." Nice. He said a bunch of other scary stuff, and that he recommended I get an xray on my jaw...but point is...I'm alive. Eric and I woke up every 90 minutes, and even though I was in pain, I was fine. Dude at the course was apparently nice. I have no idea. Anyway...that sucked. But the day with friends and family was awesome...so let's focus on that. :)

The whole JOJ group.
My darling boy...
I ... could ... use a lesson ... or 6... Hundred.

Coop and Dedo playin'...

See...so much fun!
Coop and I rode with Kimmers. Good partner!
My group... Freakin' impressive.
Dinner post-game and post-injury.
Throughout the week, we had amazing family time. We saw Savannah and Owen play soccer, hung out with our siblings (Ryan, Tina, Kim, Brian, Erica and John Mark) and our awesome paretns, met JM and Erica's brand new baby boy (that's baby #4, y'all), visited Grandma Jane, and the best parts...we went to Disneyland (Coop's 1st trip!) and celebrated his first birthday a few days early with all of our incredible family and friends! We're truly blessed. Like, super blessed. 

Tina and Ryan met Gigi, Pop, Eric, Coop and me at Disneyland and we started off with a bang! Cooper got his "1st Visit" pin, and then bam! Mickey and Minnie. We didn't know how he'd handle it...but he was an adorable, lil' smiley champ! He loved EVERY moment. One guy who was standing in line to meet the mice with his kids watched Cooper and said, "That makes your trip worth every penny." It did, indeed. The whole day was awesome, and we stayed SO late - Cooper was a trooper! 

Can't you feel his excitement?
Obligatory entrance shot.
Well, hello Ms. Mouse...I got your nose!
So stinkin' cute.
It's MICKEY! Like, from the Clubhouse.
"Hmm. I think I want your tie." - Cooper
"So...yeah, I took it." - Cooper.
Thanks for getting us in Tina and Ryan!
Astro Blasters!
Mommy and Coop-A-Loop!
Dedo's turn...
Smiles with Yai, finally...
Had no idea how scared I'd be. Ha. Tower of Terror.
Bad idea for someone with a concussion to
ride this coaster.
Parents. With their kid. And beers. (CA Adventure)
Engaged and darling.
Pop, a sleepy Coop, and Gig'...
His birthday was a Monster's Inc. theme..."Our Little Monster is Turning ONE! Love, The Kambestad Kreatures." We had Sully's Sandwiches, Mikey's Munchies, Roz's Hummus, Cooper's Cake, Monster Juice and Creature Chiller, as well as Boo's Booze. :) Probably more, too - but I forget. Enjoy (all) the photos. Cooper loved every moment of this day. Special thanks to Kimi and Bri for the photos, Gigi and Pop for their help, as well as to Yai and Teenz for the use of their pool house and home. (And to everyone, sincerely, thank you for coming and loving and spoiling our son!)

Dedo & his birthday boy!  
Am  pulling down decorations? No, not me!
Chayna and precious Veda, and Tina.
Pin the eye on Mikey...
My birthday monster!
Cheering everyone on... 
Uncle Yai was...not the winner.
Coop even got a try! So close!
Pretty much everyone participated. :)
But Savannah prevailed!
A lil' pool time...
Swimmin' with Sav.
Coop's Cake!
Mommm....just let me eat the cake!
Surrounded by love...

Lil' silly sting action...
Chayna and Veda Belle. 
Yai and the Cooper.
Surprisingly good with hats on this specific day...  
Cousins...and stuff...
Rock star Sav.
Family, Take 1.
Family, Take 2.
We headed home the next day, feeling 100% exhausted...but feeling like we packed in everything we could. And man...we had a blast!!! 

Next up...Cooper's first birthday in the 'Ville, and his 13th month...visitors and news about jobs, life and such! :)